In which G.M. Norton gives a hairy history lesson.
Prepare yourself, dear reader, as I have news to impart. Are you ready? I’ve put aside my trusty razor and I'm once again cultivating a chin badger.
I know that you'll be sad to see the pencil moustache go but quite frankly, I get bored easily and fancy a change.
For those that haven’t kept up with my facial hair growing exploits, here is a little hirsute history.
This periodical came to life and my face was naked. Completely bereft of any sign of facial hair, which was removed as soon as it sprouted up from the confines of my face.
Deciding that an aspiring gentleman should grow interesting facial hair, I embarked on Operation Handlebar. My large moustache helped your favourite protagonist achieve notoriety, fame and membership to the prestigious Handlebar Club.
Concerned that the look of disgust on my beloved’s face would become permanent, the moustache and I agreed to end our affair. Parting was such sweet sorrow.
Without a hairy face, I didn’t feel quite right. I missed my furry friend. Over the Christmas period, I neglected to shave and to my surprise, my beloved asked me to grow a beard. Of course, I obliged!
Experiencing a strong urge to shave, I did just that. I’d always been intrigued by the pencil moustache style so gave it a whirl. Originally planning to only keep it for Halloween, where I dressed up as Gomez Addams, it survived a whole six months.
Back in the present day, I'll be seeing out the rest of 2016 with a beard.
Then something exciting is happening, chumrades (for me, at least). 2017 marks the 70th anniversary of the Handlebar Club. To mark such a milestone, the chin fluff will exit stage left and the large upper lip appendage will be BACK! Complete with graspable extremities.
And then I'll change it all again.
Protagonist of 'Norton of Morton'