Norton of Morton

Read a new instalment of Norton of Morton every Saturday at 4 o'clock

Saturday 31 August 2013

My Vintage Life

In which G.M. Norton makes an appearance in a brand new vintage publication.

Today I have the honour of formally announcing some rather splendid news. Much to my delight, my musings have been included in a new publication, His Vintage Life, which is available from Messrs W.H. & Smith from the 5th of September.


Saturday 24 August 2013

Tea for two and two for tea

In which G.M. Norton indulges in a spot of afternoon tea with his beloved.

Afternoon tea epitomises the very essence of Englishness so when my beloved chanced upon an offer on Wowcher, we simply had to sample Tom’s Champagne Bar in Manchester.

So, last weekend, my beloved wearing a rather lovely ‘Hepburn’ tea dress from Lady Vintage, and myself clad in tweed and corduroy, toddled off to the city centre ready to be fortified by a very fine meal.


Saturday 17 August 2013

Ost-riches and raging bulls

In which G.M. Norton teases himself by imagining what lovely items he could have splurged his car repair bill on.

Well, dear readers, my motorcar has been making a truly awful racket over the last few weeks. Adopting ostrich like behaviour, I naturally buried my head in the sand for as long as possible until even cats and dogs covered their collective ears as I trundled past in the old rust bucket. 

Having received my monthly pay cheque from my employer (alas, I do not have an inheritance to squander), I bit the proverbial bullet and made a much-needed visit to the car hospital. 

Well, I won’t bore you with the full details (mechanical talk goes completely over my pomade-covered head) but the lengthy list of mechanical improvements left me parting with a rather hefty sum to bring it back to (almost) full health. Crikey! What exceedingly rum luck.


Saturday 10 August 2013

Gentlemen prefer blondes?

In which G.M. Norton celebrates the Master of Suspense’s birthday with a furtive glance at his femme fatales. 

As regular readers will have picked up from my Cary Grant and Grace Kelly periodical postings, I am a huge Alfred Hitchcock fan.

For me, Hitchcock is the greatest film director that has ever lived. His film career spanned more than 50 years, some of the most recognisable being Rear Window (1954), Vertigo (1958), North by Northwest (1959), Psycho (1960) and The Birds (1963). 


Saturday 3 August 2013

The perfect summer outfit

In which G.M. Norton makes his first foray into party hosting but must find suitable gentlemanly attire for the occasion.

Last weekend I was hired to host a lady’s birthday party. Held at a sports club boasting a cricket pitch and tennis courts, the party had a vintage tea party theme.

To make a suitably bold presence, I was keen to wear the classic summer outfit for a gentleman – a skimmer, boating blazer and cream trousers. Unfortunately, the hat and blazer were both items I did not yet possess.

So, I did what any self-respecting aspiring gentleman would do and I scoured the net far and wide, even appealing for assistance on the Twittering Device.

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