Norton of Morton

Read a new instalment of Norton of Morton every Saturday at 4 o'clock

Saturday 8 September 2012

The quest begins!

In which G.M. Norton introduces himself, yearns for a bygone age and begins his quest to lead a gentlemanly existence.    


Welcome to ‘Norton of Morton’ – a periodical for dandies and damsels that guffaws in the face of modernity. Think of this as a safe refuge, an air raid shelter or bunker if you will, although more handsomely furnished with a roaring fire, sumptuous Chesterfields to sink into and a butler bearing a tumbler of your favourite tipple.

If you’ve not already guessed, I am an aspiring gentleman living in 21st century Britain with a yearning for a bygone age when the male of the species were gentlemen and the fairer sex were just that. 

I am a proud Northerner, as my surname suggests, residing in the North-West of England. Despite the higher altitude, I’m sad to report that it’s no longer shrouded in smog from the 19th century. That’s now been contained in Middlesbrough, the lucky blighters.

The many faces of G.M. Norton
This periodical will delve into my pursuit of becoming a true English gentleman covering grooming, gentlemanly apparel and musical musings.  

My behaviour has always been befitting of a gentleman – opening doors for people, giving up my seat on public transport, refraining from using expletives and quaffing cognac. In fact, one of my earliest school memories was defending a young lady’s honour by challenging a six-year-old scoundrel to a playground duel. Now I’ve reached my thirtieth year, I’d like to present my gentlemanly standards in a more outwardly fashion.  

Similar to a wealthy wastrel who has squandered his inheritance, I’m not exactly rolling in lolly. To coin a phrase, you could say that I’m ‘on Skid Row with Savile Row aspirations’. But that is a trifling matter - after all, a chap loves a challenge and I’m ready to look austerity in the eye.

And so my dear reader, the quest begins! You are more than welcome to accompany me.

G.M. Norton
Protagonist of ‘Norton of Morton’


  1. What ho, old chap! Thanks awfully for following my blog. Only too happy to return the favour myself - quite a spiffing periodical you have here already, if I may say so. We certainly need more chaps like your good self on the ætherweb. Welcome, welcome! and I look forward to reading of your latest gentlemanly exploits in the t'North.

    1. Delighted to meet your acquaintance, sir! It’s frightfully nice of you to reciprocate my follow and for your extremely kind words. I’m always pleased to meet like-minded chaps – perhaps we should issue a rallying cry on our respective periodicals for others to join us in showcasing their gentlemanly ways. I’ve been sampling the delights of your rather splendid blog and am looking forward to exploring it further.


Blogger Template Created by pipdig