Norton of Morton

Read a new instalment of Norton of Morton every Saturday at 4 o'clock

Saturday 26 November 2016

Hair today, gone tomorrow?

In which G.M. Norton tackles things head on.

This past week or so, I discovered something that shocked me. It stopped me in my tracks and to be truthful, it made me quite sad. Well, for a few minutes, until I forced myself to snap out of it and accept the situation.

You may now be wondering what on earth this discovery could be. Well, rather than leaving you guessing any longer than is necessary, my news is this – I’m losing my hair.

There. I’ve said it.

Saturday 19 November 2016

Far Flung Floyd

In which G.M. Norton makes a new friend.

I’m enormously excited to have made a new chum in the last week or so. His name is Floyd and since he arrived at Norton Manor, we’ve been virtually inseparable.

Once in a blue moon, you just hit it off like you’ve been friends forever.
What’s more, Floyd is a colourful character, is always on hand to listen patiently to my waffle and at a moment’s notice, will wrap himself around me and keep me protected from the cold Manchester air.
Before I continue any further and get into a whole heap of trouble with my beloved, I should perhaps explain that Floyd is a stunning tweed travel jacket from those fine folk at English Utopia.

Saturday 12 November 2016

Courteous celebrities

In which G.M. Norton looks for chivalry in the modern day.

Greetings chumrades!

Well, it's been quite a week with Donald Trump becoming the 45th President of the United States. 

I see this periodical as a distraction from modern life and thorny issues such as politics and I'm not going to start now. However, what I will always make clear is that sexist and misogynist behaviour is utterly despicable. 

To remind readers of the behaviour that I believe in, here are some examples from celebrities of today. This first one might surprise you, it certainly surprised me.

Saturday 5 November 2016

Jack Frost, jumpers and beards

In which G.M. Norton pens piffle about wool and beards.

This week, we had our first frosty morning where I live. Jack Frost obviously hadn't been out too long, so I suspect he had only sneaked out when nobody was looking. But he had left a trace or a calling card, if you will. 
In readiness for the cold months ahead, I've been plotting some purchases to help keep me warm. I've already managed to snaffle a couple of jumpers - a lovely cream Norwegian style number made from 100% British wool for just £30 and a big thick M&S navy sweater from their Autograph range. This one was acquired from one of the beneficiary boutiques that I frequent, and set me back the princely cost of £1.99 (being a generous sole, I put the penny in the collection box).
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