Norton of Morton

Read a new instalment of Norton of Morton every Saturday at 4 o'clock

Saturday 15 December 2018

Double 0-tendres: Sean Connery

In which G.M. Norton appreciates 007's saucy utterances.

I don’t know what it is, but it seems that every Yuletide, I get obsessed with Bond. I now intend to re-watch all the films and dig out my Ian Fleming books.

This past week, I’ve even been listening to a couple of James Bond podcasts on my journey to and from the office.

I've always been fond of the saucy quips in James Bond, so thought it might be fun to list my seven favourite Bond double entendres from Sean Connery and then follow-up with Sir Roger Moore next week.

So here goes.

Dr. No

Bond: “Don’t worry. I’m not supposed to be here either.”
Honey Ryder: “Are you looking for shells too?”
Bond: “No, I’m just looking.”
From Russia with Love

Tatiana: "My mouth is too big." 
Bond: "Not for me, it isn't."


Pussy Galore: “My name is Pussy Galore.”
Bond: “I must be dreaming.”

Bond: “My dear, uncooperative Domino.”
Domino: “How do you know that? How do you know my friends call me Domino?”
Bond: “It’s on the bracelet on your ankle.”
Domino: “So, what sharp little eyes you’ve got.”
Bond: “Wait ’till you get to my teeth.”
You Only Live Twice

Mr Osato: "You should give up smoking. Cigarettes are very bad for your chest."
Helga Brandt: "Mr Osato believes in a healthy chest."
Bond: "Really?"

Diamonds Are Forever

Plenty O’Toole: “Hi, I’m Plenty.”
Bond: “But of course you are.”
Plenty O’Toole: “Plenty O’Toole.”
Bond: “Named after your father perhaps?”
Never Say Never Again

Fatima Blush: “Oh, how reckless of me. I made you all wet.”
Bond: “Yes, but my martini is still dry. My name is James.”
G.M. Norton
Protagonist of 'Norton of Morton'

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