Norton of Morton

Read a new instalment of Norton of Morton every Saturday at 4 o'clock

Saturday 14 June 2014

Giveaway! Assortment of ale

In which G.M. Norton drinks free beer and encourages you to do the same.

You may not be aware, dear reader, but as I have no inheritance to squander, I work the old nine to five, chained to a desk made of that pretend wood. You know the stuff, with the wood veneer masking its true shoddy self.

Three or four weeks ago (I do forget the small details sometimes), I was scampering away from work one evening after a hard day in front of the 'coal face' when I was alerted by way of vibration to an electronic message.

It was from a lovely lady at If you’ve yet to be introduced, they are an Edinburgh-based company who deliver a box of eight remarkable bottles of beer from independent microbreweries to your door, once a month.

The missive in question was titled, ‘Free box of beer’ and after much scrutinising of the contents, it appeared that I was being offered alcoholic beverages completely gratis. Not one to look an alcoholic gift horse in the mouth, I accepted the offer with gusto.

Lo and behold, within a few short days I was holding a box of beer. 

So, what does one do with a free box of specially crafted brews? Well, I invited a dear chum of mine to share in the consumption of beverages.
We had enormous fun drinking the well dry, as it were. Here were our tipsy but basic thoughts on each beer in turn:

10 by Brewmeister 

Very carbonated
Super strong stuff – 10.1%
Will knock your socks off
Warning label!
Very dark
‘Nuclear charged rock beer’

India Pale Ale by St Andrews Brewing Company

Bob wishes you to enjoy
Nice and light
Enjoyable aftertaste
Like this one

Foxy Blonde by Scottish Borders Brewery

Who doesn't enjoy a foxy blonde?
Not as nice as the last one
Very ambery
Strong but taste doesn’t last

Pale Whale by Whale Brewery

Citrusy and sweet
Lots of air

Black Hawk by Brewmeister

Like 10 but more head
Thick and full bodied
Chocolate and coffee
No need to eat food with this meal supplement 
Sip, don't gulp

Sanda Black IPA by Fyne Ales

Sweet but bitter

Craft Lager by Deeside Brewery

Full and rich
A taste of honey
Very quaffable 

Single Hop Citra by Brouwerij De Molen 

Slight smell of orange detected
Good beer
Fresh fruity taste


Realising that my esteemed readership may also like to benefit from free beer, I am pleased to be able to offer one lucky person the chance to win a box of eight bottled beverages. All you need to do to enter is leave a comment below and there you have it. I know it's frightfully dull but here are the competition rules.
  1. The giveaway is open to residents of the United Kingdom only. Sorry, international readers!
  2. You must be aged 18 or over.
  3. The giveaway is open from Saturday 14 June 2014 and will close at midnight on Friday 27 June 2014.
  4. After the draw, the winner will be notified sharpish and the items posted by as soon as possible following notification and receipt of address.
  5. The giveaway will be picked at random by a completely random individual (probably me).
  6. If the lucky winner has the audacity not to respond within 20 days, I reserve the right to pick a more grateful recipient.
  7. I will contact the winner by electronic message detailed in the entry comment.
  8. The comment must be legible and not just a collection of letters pressed at random in your excitement to win free booze.

As there can only be one winner, have also offered everybody £10 off your first box if you subscribe to their services. Simply use the code NORTON10. That means you’d receive eight beers for a mere 280 shillings (or £14 to the modern chap).

Bottoms up!

G.M. Norton
Protagonist of ‘Norton of Morton’



  1. Hello! I would be extremely grateful to receive free beer at random

  2. Ooh yes count me its ma fellas 30th soon!!

  3. Beer, one of the few items left where you can enjoy the contents and gaze for an age at the container. A bit like you did with LP's for those who remember them

  4. I browsed their very fine beverage selection and they have one beer called Ticketybrew - that's all I needed to see :) Marvellous prize Mr Norton - please submit my bona fides to the selection board.

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  6. Perfect for my other half! Please add my name to the pot kind Sir

  7. Thanks for the opportunity to win, what a great selection on offer! If I'm lucky enough to win I'll share with my dad - but will be keeping the '10' for myself! Good luck all. S.

  8. Would love to win this. I do enjoy an ale myself (and make a mighty fine bar wench if I do say so myself) and a couple of my Chaps would happily help me drink them.

  9. Dear Sir, please give me the beers, as I will really enjoy them and will recommend them to my drinking cronies.

  10. FREE BEER ~ oh my this is the first time i've seen your blog and the giveaway is booze.. just capital chaps n chapesses.

  11. This comment has been removed by the author.

  12. Free Ale I hear you say? Well, one always enjoy an ale or two unwinding after a hard days graft at the factory. Free and independent ale is the best kind of ale to unwind with in my opinion.

  13. Thanks awfully for entering, ladies and gentlemen! The winner, picked completely at random is Mr. Mark Phillipson. Many congratulations, Sir!


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