Norton of Morton

Read a new instalment of Norton of Morton every Saturday at 4 o'clock

Saturday 19 August 2017

Big head strikes again

In which G.M. Norton insists that he's a wallflower really.

Over the years, my silly face has appeared on billboards, the back end of buses, and in the lost and found section of the local newspaper. Now though, the matter has really got out of hand.

Sauntering to the office one morning and what should I be greeted with? Well, I'm going to tell you. A ten foot banner of your favourite protagonist, draped over the town hall. 

Of course, I did have fair warning that this was going to happen but seeing is believing and all that.

But it doesn't stop there as I'm also the cover 'star' on a magazine that from Monday will be delivered to 110,000 homes. 110,000 people will then be placing my face into their paper recycling bin, but that's a discussion for another time and place.
What did I do to deserve such attention? Well I got snapped after turning up to an event last year wearing my finest (and only) seersucker suit, natty straw boater and brandishing a megaphone for me to shout all manner of inappropriate and libelous things. 

So if you want to avoid seeing yourself plastered around all and sundry, don't make the same mistake as me and leave the straw boater firmly at home.
G.M. Norton
Protagonist of 'Norton of Morton'

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  1. Congratulations - steady on though, or the boater may no longer fit...

    1. I fear it's too late, I can't get the infernal thing off!


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