Norton of Morton

Read a new instalment of Norton of Morton every Saturday at 4 o'clock

Saturday 26 November 2016

Hair today, gone tomorrow?

In which G.M. Norton tackles things head on.

This past week or so, I discovered something that shocked me. It stopped me in my tracks and to be truthful, it made me quite sad. Well, for a few minutes, until I forced myself to snap out of it and accept the situation.

You may now be wondering what on earth this discovery could be. Well, rather than leaving you guessing any longer than is necessary, my news is this – I’m losing my hair.

There. I’ve said it.
I had no idea that my hair was thinning. It’s always been very thick, to the point where hairdressers, barbers and random strangers running their hands through my hair would comment on it. My hair has even snapped a Kent comb before.

I’ve always had quite a high forehead, but I accept that my hairline has crept back a little. The hair loss is on the top of my head so is out of sight  when catching my reflection in a mirror. The back looks fine too. I must have some polite long-limbed friends because nobody has mentioned it.

Some men couldn’t care less about their hair. My brother, for instance, has always viewed hair as an inconvenience. Something else to trim and keep tidy. I do care though, I care very much.
Hair loss is all too common for chaps. But if the future King, Prince William, can’t escape the inevitability of baldness then what chance do I have? Of course, there are hair transplants or so-called miracle cures but personally, I have no interest in things like that. I’m just going to have to try to lose my hair gracefully. With a bit of luck, my hair follicles will be kind and hang in there for a few more years.

My plan is to try to not be down-hearted about it. I’m a realist, so there will be no dodgy combovers or another style introduced to try to hide the baldness. Nor will I shave it off completely, the idea of doing that makes me feel physically sick and will be my last resort. Instead, I will try to keep my hair relatively short. And wear lots of hats. 

G.M. Norton
Protagonist of 'Norton of Morton'

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  1. I don't know if this will make you feel better - I hope - or worse, but hair loss is mainly genetic. Embrace hats if you want, but I hope you won't lose your confidence to go hatless! You are such a snappy dresser, it's what you wear not what's underneath. Sorry to hear this is troubling you x

    1. Thanks awfully for your kind words! I'm going to try to be bold about going bald (that's a tongue twister!). Hopefully I can be an example for other men that are faced with hair loss too.

  2. Oh no, I'm so sorry to hear that. My poor brother started losing his at the age of 18 due to a particularly horrible bout of glandular fever and went through a horrid time with it. What makes it worse is that my dad, who's in his mid-70s, still has a full head of very thick hair. It makes my brother sick!
    I do hope you don't lose any of your wonderful confidence over it. Just look at Dandy Wellington, he's got no hair and is greatly admired for his style. Just as you are my friend! x

    1. You are kind, thank you! I am sorry for your brother, that's no age at all. I hadn't realised that the delightful Dandy Wellington was lacking in the hair department - he is a wonderful dresser and full of fun! I will do my utmost to not let my thinning thatch get me down! Life is for living and good health is much more important than vanity.

  3. You need to set yourself up a Pinterest board full of fabulous bald chaps - lots of Patrick Stewart, Yul Brinner and so on. Nothing wrong with a bit of bald! I have made boards full of stylish older people, sassy frumps and waistless ladies, to prove to myself that ageing and an apple figure are no barrier to being fabulous.

    I am relieved to hear you are saying NO to a combover. I fear even you would struggle to make those look stylish.

    1. That's a splendid idea! I will do just that and set up a Pinterest board to gain some suitable inspiration.

  4. I started losing hair in my 20's and now I've had a shaved head for over 15 years. My advice is to dive in and discover the bald lifestyle.

    1. Thank you for taking the time to leave a comment, old thing. I am starting to consider life with a bald head. In some ways, I'm quite looking forward to it! For now though, I think it's a long goodbye to my hair. Once it continues to thin on top and sneaks a little further up my head, it will be time to bid it adieu.


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