Norton of Morton

Read a new instalment of Norton of Morton every Saturday at 4 o'clock

Saturday 7 May 2016

Biography of a bounder: Keith Moon

In which G.M. Norton awards Keith Moon official bounder status.

A little while ago, I penned the first 'biography of a bounder', featuring the one and only Oliver Reed. Contemplating a follow-up, who better than his drinking buddy, Mr Keith Moon?
In case you're not up on your British pop music culture, Keith Moon was a legendary drummer in The Who. Known for a manic drumming style, he was also quite the character. 

Legend has it that when Keith first met the fellows in The Who, he was dressed head to toe in ginger, with dyed ginger hair and holding a glass of ginger bear. Regrettably, no photographic evidence of this exists. 

When they weren't fighting like cat and dog, Keith was very close to his three band mates; Roger Daltrey, Pete Townshend and John Entwistle. He was especially fond of Pete, who he couldn’t keep his hands off. Alas, Pete reciprocate those feelings.
Despite claims that Keith was an only child, he actually had a little-known sister called Karen. There’s certainly a strong family resemblance.
When Keith wasn’t looning around with chums Vivian Stanshall or Oliver Reed, he enjoyed nothing more than to spend time inside his Swedish love, IKEA. It was at IKEA that Keith met his future paramour, who asked for a photograph with him while he was pursuing the store's famous door section.
For a time, crows blighted the city of London (not to be confused with the ravens at the Tower). So much so that when not on tour with The Who, Keith was hired as a scarecrow. Thankfully, his efforts seemed to have the desired effect. Playing Tommy also worked.
This will come as no surprise but Keith was a very magnanimous fellow, buying rounds of drinks wherever he may roam. His generosity is captured here, as he asks the cast of Snow White if they would like a refreshing glass of apple cider. Just out of shot is Bashful.
Keith was good chums with lots of other musicians, including Rolling Stones and Faces guitarist, Ronnie Wood. 
Fiercely competitive, they would try to outdo each other with silly contests. Ronnie won ‘biggest hair’ and thought he had scooped ‘biggest bow-tie’ until Soupy Sales walked in.
Maynards Wine Gums approached Keith about starring alongside a moose for a television advertisement. Despite getting on initially, the moose and Moon went their separate ways, citing ‘moosical differences’ (apols)
Incidentally, did you know that Keith lost one of his front teeth during a food fight with Herman’s Hermits?
As well as being quite the drummer, Keith was also all fur coat and no knickers. No, really.  I've spent quite some time trying to catch a glimpse of his knickers in the pictorial below and I can't see any.
As happens to a lot of musical icons, Keith's life was tragically cut short. The 32-year-old bounder left a considerable legacy. And a great deal of broken television sets and the remains of blown-up toilets.

G.M. Norton
Protagonist of 'Norton of Morton'

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