Norton of Morton

Read a new instalment of Norton of Morton every Saturday at 4 o'clock

Saturday 22 August 2015

Review: Pretentious Pocket

In which G.M. Norton exposes himself in public and enjoys a jolly good stuffing.

Last week, I exposed myself in public. I didn’t do it just once either, but three times.

I should perhaps explain at this point that I was exposing my new pocket squares from Pretentious Pocket.
Pretentious Pocket are a New York pocket square company with attitude.

The brains behind this pretentious outfit is one Justin Ross Lee.

Justin, or JRL as he is also known, is described online as a ‘notorious socialite’ and for those that watch such drivel, he has appeared on television show, Millionaire Matchmaker. JRL, modelling himself on Jay Gatsby or Frank Abagnale, uses his charm and sheer bravado to travel first class to far-flung lands and talk his way into A-list parties.

I admire that kind of attitude and this is reflected in his business venture, Pretentious Pocket. I stumbled upon Pretentious Pocket quite by chance and to be frank, they make the most colourful, exciting range of pocket squares that I’ve set my eyes on.

A firm believer in the old saying “If you don’t ask, you don’t get”, I adopted JRL behaviour and blagged myself some free ones to share with you.

JRL must have appreciated my efforts as I was lucky enough to be bestowed three from his Pretentious Pocket collection - Delusions of Grandeur, The Hamptons and the quite wonderfully named Up Yours. He’s such a cad.

My three pocket squares arrived in suitably ostentatious fashion. After unwrapping the luminous green tissue paper, I was greeted with a handwritten note from JRL and the pocket squares which were encased inside the finest crocodile skin cardboard boxes known to man. As one would expect, a ‘Pretentious Pocket’ ribbon was tied elaborately around each box.
The signed note and bright green tissue paper were both super touches. I especially liked that each box also has a glorious cut-out hole, to hint at the array of colours that lie beneath.

So, let's take a few moments to admire each pocket square in turn. For each pocket square, I've worn the same grey double-breasted suit and white shirt, but paired it with a complementing tie and NATO watch strap. 

"The New York Post aptly called this style a 'Lilly Pulitzer acid trip'. Omnipotence detailed with Pretentious flair, bound to make those less fortunate stare. An assortment of electric green, ultra pink and Carolina blue, riddled with violet and vigor." Pretentious Pocket website

"Being a polo prick has never felt so breezy. 'The Hampton' features a blend of airy summer hues for the most Pretentious of pockets. Magenta, lavender pink, French rose, with hints of lemon chiffon and periwinkle." Pretentious Pocket website

"Up Yours pretentiously personifies 100% 'f*** you' silk with this floral combination of azure, titanium yellow, and emerald. Hints of light mauve and black trim." Pretentious Pocket website

If the packaging hasn’t given it away, the products produced are of a very high quality with every square made from silk, allowing you crease-free glossy designs.

The squares look superb on their webular site but are even more impressive in person. The patterns are stunning and really well printed.

To me, the purpose of a pocket square is to add a little sartorial flourish to an otherwise standard ensemble.

The beauty of the silk squares by Pretentious Pocket is the complex pattern that adorn each of the 15 squares on offer in their collection. Depending on how you fold and stuff it, the square is never the same each time you wear it.

What I like about Pretentious Pocket squares is the way they transform your ordinary grey suit and make you stand out from the crowd.

The Manhattan made pocket squares measure a generous 15” and are made of “100% F*** You Silk”. 

It is said that the younger you are, the less of your pocket square you should show. Pish pash to that, says I! I’m going to wear these beauties so they are practically erupting from my pocket.
As my readers in Blighty will know, when ordering goods from our American cousins, Her Majesty’s Customs and Excise do enjoy adding a nasty little charge known as import duty. Well, I’m pleased to report that Pretentious Pocket think that this is preposterous so all pocket squares arrive without any more money to pay. How wonderful is that? If only more businesses would take a leaf out of Pretentious Pocket’s book. 

You would be forgiven for thinking that these glorious silk squares from Pretentious Pocket will cost an arm and a leg. Well, no. Actually, they are available at a very unpretentious price, ranging from $68 to $98 each (£44 to £63). I think these are extraordinarily good value for silk pocket squares of this quality.

Thanks awfully to the venerable JRL for festooning my breast pocket with colour. It is a pleasure to add such exquisite squares of silk to my burgeoning pocket square collection.

If you also have a penchant for pocket squares, remember - there’s no need to be demure. Indulge your pretentious side by placing an order with Pretentious Pocket and soon you too will be doused in colour and triumphantly parading an ostentatious little number. 

To follow JRL's globe-trotting adventures, he can be found on Facebook, Twitter and Instagram.

Right-o, I’m off to expose myself again. This time, in a first class airport lounge so I can gorge myself on free food and drink.

G.M. Norton
Protagonist of 'Norton of Morton'


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