Norton of Morton

Read a new instalment of Norton of Morton every Saturday at 4 o'clock

Saturday 15 August 2015

National Male Grooming Day

In which G.M. Norton shares his grooming routine.

To help celebrate National Male Grooming Day on Friday 21st August, I was approached by Mira Showers to share my bathroom adventures (fear not, you will not be seeing any bare flesh). Perhaps they read about my Well Groomed Man exploits in Modern Barber Magazine. In any case, here are a few dastardly ruses that I follow to look my best.

The bathroom is probably my favourite room in the house. It’s my refuge away from the children, an area of calm from the stresses of everyday life. So to spend a few moments each day alone in my sanctuary is sheer bliss.

Exfoliate and moisturise

After my eight hours of horizontal pleasure, I wake myself up with a few hearty splashes of warm water to the face. I then use a facial scrub to exfoliate the skin and remove any dirt and dead skin cells. 

To maintain my youthful looks, I then apply some face moisturiser, using just a small amount.

Hair care

I take care to make sure the skin underneath my beard is kept clean, applying a few drops of beard oil afterwards to hydrate the hair and give it a little protection for the day ahead.

Despite having a beard, I still need to shave the cheek and neck areas to keep everything looking tidy. My badger hair shaving brush, shaving cream and safety razor are the tools needed for this particular job along with piping hot water.

Hair cull

Alas, I’ve reached that age where unwanted hairs sprout from my ears (thankfully, they’re white so not very visible). Using a trimmer is now becoming an essential part of my morning routine. 

Now I know that many men make the grave error of waxing or shaving their chest hair. How preposterous! Be a man and wear your chest rug with pride. If it’s good enough for Sean Connery (take a look at Goldfinger for visual proof), then it’s good enough for us. I love my chest hair. Occasionally, I do get one or two hairs that grow exceedingly longer than the rest so I do need to cut these back from time to time.

Head hair

For the hair on my head, I usually use pomade. I enjoy experimenting with different products rather than use the same one. At the moment, I prefer water-based pomades as oil ones are extremely difficult to wash out.
Eau de Man

I’m also a keen wearer of cologne. At the moment, I’ve taken to wearing Penhaligon’s English Fern which makes me feel like an Edwardian gentleman taking his daily constitutional on a hot summers day. 

Thanks awfully to Mira Showers for sending me a few goodies from Ruffians to help me look a little better.

G.M. Norton
Protagonist of 'Norton of Morton'


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