Norton of Morton

Read a new instalment of Norton of Morton every Saturday at 4 o'clock

Saturday 1 June 2013

Smouldering Sirens: Marilyn Monroe

In which G.M. Norton pays tribute to Hollywood’s (second) blonde bombshell.

I thought it was jolly well time I entered another lovely lady into my pantheon of ‘Smouldering sirens’. So without further ado, I would like to formally induct Marilyn Monroe to my list, following in the dainty footsteps of fellow actress, Miss Grace Kelly

So, what is it about the blonde-haired beauty with the voluptuous figure and sensuous appeal that made me enter her into my ‘Smouldering sirens’ list? I’m at a loss to explain it, I really am. I suppose it may have been the blonde hair, voluptuous figure and sensuous appeal.
Feigning surprise to be included on the list

Although it has now been more than fifty years since her untimely death, Marilyn continues to captivate people to this day. As well as her obvious beauty, the blonde bombshell also had a potent mix of vulnerability and innocence that is utterly irresistible. Especially if you believe the stories of men that succumbed to her unmistakable charms.
Potent mix of vulnerablity and innocence

Marilyn had a difficult start to life – the identity of her father is a mystery and her mother was committed to a mental institution, leaving her in countless foster homes. 

Perhaps unsurprisingly, Marilyn was the blushing bride on three occasions – firstly to a lucky fellow by the name of Jimmy Dougherty, before Baseball superstar Joe DiMaggio made the home run of his career by slipping a wedding ring on her finger. It was to slip off though when playwright Arthur Miller popped the question.

In between multiple marriage proposals, engagement parties, wedding planning, wedding ceremonies, honeymoons, the ‘honeymoon period’ and resulting break-ups, Marilyn found the time to make thirty films on the silver screen. The most well-known of which were Gentlemen Prefer Blondes, How to Marry a Millionaire and Some Like it Hot.
Marilyn is a big fan of this periodical

Rather fittingly, her final film was The Misfits, which also marked the end of the acting career for leading man Clark Gable, who starred alongside Marilyn’s idol (and original blonde bombshell), Jean Harlow. Some men have all the luck.

As Marilyn fans know only too well, tragically she was found dead in her home in 1962 at the tender age of 36. Although the cause of death was determined to be a drug overdose and possible suicide, there are conspiracy theories aplenty. 

Today, the 1st of June, marks Marilyn Monroe’s birthday. Famously, Marilyn, wearing a skin tight dress that displayed her eye-popping curves, sang a breathy and somewhat explicit ‘Happy Birthday, Mr President’, to her rumoured bed-cohabiter, John F Kennedy.
Happy birthday, Marilyn

You will be relieved to know that I have not filmed a breathy, somewhat explicit performance of ‘Happy Birthday, Peroxide Princess’. That plan was shelved when my skin tight dress inexplicably split. Oh well, there’s always next year!

G.M. Norton
Protagonist of ‘Norton of Morton’


1 comment

  1. I adore Marilyn.
    I once read she deliberately cultivated her breathy manner of speech by doing the opposite of what speech coaches tell you. Inhale first then speak on the exhalation. Try it!
    She was one of a kind and even now when I watch 'How To Marry a Millionaire' or 'Some Like it Hot' I am mesmerised by her comedic timing, beauty and presence.
    She was alas put in some utter drivel, but in these films she shone.
    Great homage Mr Norton Sir.


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