Norton of Morton

Read a new instalment of Norton of Morton every Saturday at 4 o'clock

Saturday, 21 July 2018

It's a right old carry on

In which G.M. Norton seeks your help to find the perfect man bag.



Twelve or so years ago, I remember a drunken lout trying to shame me for having the audacity to be carrying a bag.

Men were often ridiculed for their 'man bags', which is downright silly really.

These days, a bag is an absolute necessity for me. On a daily basis, I need something to carry my laptop and the power cable, mobile phone charger and headphones. It's also nice to have a good book to hand, and perhaps a magazine. Being a leftie, it's also useful to carry a pair of scissors (rogue eyebrow hairs are a definite thing).

The straps of two of my bags have recently broken, which perhaps suggests that I overload them a tad too much. But then, it may also suggest that the quality of the bags could be better.

This got me thinking about what my ideal bag would be like.

Carry handle and sturdy strap

My dream bag would have both a carry handle and a sturdy strap that can be removed.


When going to and from the office, I usually prefer to carry it by the handle, but there are times where the strap comes in handy such as when I'm attending an event and need to use my hands (holding a drink or two, you understand).

A carry handle is dashed useful as it means I can grab it or put it down with not much thought.

Plenty of space

As I just mentioned, I like to carry a lot of things so a bag needs to be able to handle this. My ideal bag must have a padded laptop sleeve, at least two other compartments so I can be organised (or attempt to be) and a zipped section. Ideally, there would also be a hidden compartment on the outside where I can store those items that you sometimes need to be able to reach quickly and easily, such as a wallet or passport.

Quality materials

My perfect bag would be all-leather, but I could easily be persuaded with a mix of leather and waterproof canvas. Ideally, the bag would also boast solid brass hardware on the strap and brass zips elsewhere too. For something that would be called to action on a daily basis in the urban jungle of Manchester, it needs to be robust enough to withstand torrential downpours and possible wear and tear from being placed on rough ground. I wouldn't want to mollycoddle it.

Do you know the perfect bag for me?

If you have any suggestions, I'd be very grateful indeed. Budget wise, I'm quite open. For an item like this, I think it can be worth spending a large sum if it means getting something that could last a lifetime. But like anybody, I do like a bargain.

Feel free to leave a comment or send me an electronic telegram.

G.M. Norton
Protagonist of 'Norton of Morton'
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