Norton of Morton

Read a new instalment of Norton of Morton every Saturday at 4 o'clock

Saturday 22 November 2014

Handlebar Club calendar - the perfect Christmas stocking filler!

In which G.M. Norton implores you to purchase a calendar brimming with upper lip appendages.

I may no longer be a member of The Handlebar Club, following  the recent relinquishing of my lip weasel in the name of love.

However, as one of my Handlebar Club chums wryly commented, once you're a member, you never truly leave.

So without further pre-amble, let's cut to the chase, shall we?

Do be a sport and buy a Handlebar Club calendar!
It is only a paltry £10 to people in Blighty and for those overseas, just £13.50 (both options include postage).

One of the lovely things about The Handlebar Club is their charitable endeavours. Despite being formed in 1947, which is the year my father was born, this is the first time the Club have ever dipped their appendages in the choppy calendar waters. All proceeds raised will be going to the Stepping Stones Down Syndrome Support Group so not only do you get to possess a piece of art (which quite frankly, should be framed) but you get to experience a warm fuzzy feeling inside (which isn't alcohol related).

It seems to me that in these modern times, a great deal of calendars feature a lot of gratuitous flesh being flashed with the models in varying states of undress. Fear not, chumrades, there's no such nudity here! In fact, those people pictured are in a state of 'up-dress', in some very fine gentlemanly attire.

Where it lacks in saucy shenanigans, it is well-endowed with some of the most impressive facial here in the world. Please be warned though that the calendar contains legendary lothario, Michael "Atters" Attree, off of The Chap magazine (see the following pictorial).

So, what do you get for your hard-earned cash? Or inheritance, if you're a wealthy wastrel...

Well, moustaches of course. And lots of them! Like this....
And this....
Or these beer-drinking educators from the local comprehensive....
As you can see, the calendar really is quite splendid. 28 pages of moustachioed gentlemen (and a smattering of ladies) are held within, available for your viewing pleasure during the year 2015. Perfect for the home or office. In fact, why don't you buy one for each?

Simply visit for the perfect Christmas stocking filler (assuming your stocking is rather large).

G.M. Norton
Protagonist of 'Norton of Morton'

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