Norton of Morton

Read a new instalment of Norton of Morton every Saturday at 4 o'clock

Saturday 25 January 2014

Behold! Layrite Super Hold

In which G.M. Norton bows down to a hair-styling miracle.

A number of months ago, I was conversing with the lovely Miss B off of The Forties Floozy, following her purchase of Sweet Georgia Brown pomade.

During our hair care chinwag, Miss B recommended that I should seek out a pomade by the name of Layrite. I must confess, I was a little short on the old pennies at the time so failed miserably to back her red-hot tip.

It seemed that every man and his dog had heard of it. Do you ever experience this, dear reader? When it seems that everybody knows something that you don’t?

Anyway, every now and again I would remember and perform a little search on the World Wide Webular in search of said product. Alas, each time I would fail to come up with the goods.

So when my favourite barbershop, BarberBarber started stocking it, naturally I was tickled pink. Following a similar pattern, I was forced to be frugal following the expense of Christmas and had to limp towards pay day before I could venture out and get my hands on some. I also got a much-needed haircut while I was there. Here is some visual evidence for your peepers.

I was under the misguided notion that Layrite had been providing pomade to the masses for decades upon decades. However, upon conducting research into the history of the product, I discovered that it has only been available since 2001. I probably have socks older than it.

Layrite is like no other pomade I have used before. Unlike the blue and red tins of Sweet Georgia Brown and the iconic Murray's, Layrite is water-based. So to put it in Layman’s terms (did you spot what I did there?), Layrite has the audacity to actually wash off when you dip your head under a heap of water. If you’ve never tread the path signed for ‘Pomade’ before, you will know that the path is rather sticky and greasy. In short, dear reader, it is dashed difficult for one to properly remove it from one’s head.

Of course, it must be said that there are other water-based pomades in existence. I’m just yet to try them until now. Having used it for coming on for a fortnight though, I must admit to finding the water-based option rather appealing.

Not so appealing is the price, however. It is on the expensive side in good old Blightly. Largely owing I am to assume, due to the fact that Layrite is an American-made product with only authorised stockists deemed worthy enough to offer it for sale.

As I touched on earlier, pennies do tend to be a problem of mine. Not having any to scrape together, to be blunt. However, this is the only ‘sticking point’ as far as your favourite protagonist is concerned (sincere apols, I couldn’t resist).

Apart from the cost, which does seem to be around three times as much as my usual hair grease, Layrite is smashing stuff. Its hold is spectacular and it’s pleasing to the touch, feeling like a gel. Before you shudder at the word ‘gel’, I should assure you that once it’s on the old barnet, its pomade qualities coming shining through.

There you have it. Layrite – lovely, but a lot of lolly.

G.M. Norton
Protagonist of ‘Norton of Morton’

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