Christmas goodies

In which G.M. Norton shares his Christmas swag.

I do hope you had a super Christmas, chumrades. 

It's been absolutely glorious to be away from the dreariness of office life for a few days. 

Santa, or rather my beloved, has been very kind this year and bestowed on me some wonderful presents. As we have two young and highly excitable children, it wasn't actually until Boxing Day before I could properly admire them. 

At the top of this year's present pile was a Reese's selection box. It's only in recent times that I've started gorging on peanut butter and with a sweet tooth, I turn to America for my fix. So it was with delight that I unwrapped this heavenly cardboard container of confectionery. 

Christmas with Bogart, Bette and two blonde bombshells

In which G.M. Norton gets in the spirit of Christmas.

Well, chumrades, we're almost there. After a month-long build-up where we literally count down the days (well, count up), Christmas Day is but a few hours away. 

Of course, Christmas is about celebrating the birth of a great man born on 25th December. As I'm not religious, naturally the great man for me is Humphrey Bogart. Happy birthday, Bogie, old thing.

All I want for Christmas is...

In which G.M. Norton shares what he'd like for Christmas.

With the big day on the way, the only thing I want for Christmas is for good manners to make a triumphant return.

As I'm sat writing this, a waitress has brought over a plate of piping hot food. I stop what I'm doing and take the time to thank her and smile warmly. I reach for the table number card and hand it over, to save her the trouble of stretching across to fetch it herself. We exchange pleasantries. Sometimes we have a little chat, usually about her grandchildren or my two daughters. From time to time, extra bacon appears on my plate, which is nice. 

The man who would be king (and step down)

In which G.M. Norton admires a fallen king and his super stylish wife.

This weekend marks the 80th anniversary of the abdication of King Edward VIII so he could marry his beloved, Wallis Simpson.

King Edward VIII, who later became Duke of Windsor, was king for less than 11 months and hadn't even had his coronation. 

I've penned an article on this in issue 09 of In Retrospect magazine which is out now.

Today I thought I would simply admire some pictorials of the super stylish couple. Fancy joining me?

Review: The Crown

In which G.M. Norton enjoys a jewel in the Netlix crown.

Despite being a jolly throwback that enjoys looking to the past, my feet are still firmly planted in the present. As a result, I carry around a portable electronic communications device (also known as a mobile phone), my masculinity isn’t hampered because my beloved is now the higher earner (I'm a little closer to my dream of becoming a gentleman of leisure) and finally, I subscribe to the thoroughly modern phenomenon of Netflix.

Netflix really is quite wonderful. I recently finished watching a Netflix original series about Her Royal Highness, Queen Elizabeth called The Crown.

Hair today, gone tomorrow?

In which G.M. Norton tackles things head on.

This past week or so, I discovered something that shocked me. It stopped me in my tracks and to be truthful, it made me quite sad. Well, for a few minutes, until I forced myself to snap out of it and accept the situation.

You may now be wondering what on earth this discovery could be. Well, rather than leaving you guessing any longer than is necessary, my news is this – I’m losing my hair.

There. I’ve said it.

Far Flung Floyd

In which G.M. Norton makes a new friend.

I’m enormously excited to have made a new chum in the last week or so. His name is Floyd and since he arrived at Norton Manor, we’ve been virtually inseparable.

Once in a blue moon, you just hit it off like you’ve been friends forever.

What’s more, Floyd is a colourful character, is always on hand to listen patiently to my waffle and at a moment’s notice, will wrap himself around me and keep me protected from the cold Manchester air.

Before I continue any further and get into a whole heap of trouble with my beloved, I should perhaps explain that Floyd is a stunning tweed travel jacket from those fine folk at English Utopia.

Courteous celebrities

In which G.M. Norton looks for chivalry in the modern day.

Greetings chumrades!

Well, it's been quite a week with Donald Trump becoming the 45th President of the United States. 

I see this periodical as a distraction from modern life and thorny issues such as politics and I'm not going to start now. However, what I will always make clear is that sexist and misogynist behaviour is utterly despicable. 

To remind readers of the behaviour that I believe in, here are some examples from celebrities of today. This first one might surprise you, it certainly surprised me.

Jack Frost, jumpers and beards

In which G.M. Norton pens piffle about wool and beards.

This week, we had our first frosty morning where I live. Jack Frost obviously hadn't been out too long, so I suspect he had only sneaked out when nobody was looking. But he had left a trace or a calling card, if you will. 

In readiness for the cold months ahead, I've been plotting some purchases to help keep me warm. I've already managed to snaffle a couple of jumpers - a lovely cream Norwegian style number made from 100% British wool for just £30 and a big thick M&S navy sweater from their Autograph range. This one was acquired from one of the beneficiary boutiques that I frequent, and set me back the princely cost of £1.99 (being a generous sole, I put the penny in the collection box).

Ten facts: James Robertson Justice

In which G.M. Norton looks at the larger-than-life man behind Sir Lancelot Spratt.

The Doctor series of films were regular fixtures on the Idiot's Lantern when I was a boy. Leslie Phillips and Dirk Bogarde were fun characters but the one that really stood out was the actor described by the aforementioned Phillips as "a great bear with a bushy beard and beetle brows, who seemed to scare the pants off most people."

Yes, that's right. The one and only James Robertson Justice, who played demanding surgeon, Sir Lancelot Spratt in six feature films, plus Captain Hogg in Doctor at Sea (starring a young Brigitte Bardot, no less).